Friday, April 10, 2009

OK, Now It's "Real"

***WARNING*** There will be whining and complaining in this post.

I am down. And I am down for one of the stupidest reasons ever. I look frumpy. It has nothing to do with my weight, although I could stand to lose another 15 or so pounds. It’s my shoes.

The only shoes I want to wear right now are my white New Balance shoes. They are the only shoes I trust. Trust? Why should trust be considered? My New Balance shoes are the only shoes that provide me with stability and balance, no pun intended.

The only dress shoes I ever wear these days are some really cute black slingbacks with a nice stable heel. Pumps are out of the question. And I can only wear the dressy shoes for a few hours, not a whole day or my feet start cramping.

This is all due to MS. Oh, and my flat feet. I have wear inserts in most shoes to support these incredibly flat feet.

You know, I don’t think I ever got angry after my diagnosis. A little scared, sad and shocked, yes, but not angry. Perhaps this shoe issue has really made this “real” for me. I know I should be grateful that I have only a few minorly annoying MS symptoms with which I am dealing, and I am truly grateful for that. I have been living with this diagnosis for just over eleven months and it is just now hitting me. How random. I think I pushed down my emotions in order to reassure those around me that I am OK, especially my mom. I have always had a sneaking suspicion that she feels guilty, like it's her fault that I have MS, that she gave it to me or something. So I'm dealing with anger that is turning to sadness over SHOES! God, this is retarded.

It’s not like I was a fashionista, but I do clean up well. But now I have to resign myself to old-lady looking shoes. This sucks!

Any suggestions for finding non-frumpy footwear that gives the required stability for those of us with MS? I would greatly appreciate hearing about your experiences.

7 comments:

have myelin said...

Okay- I had the same problem you did but my daughter INSISTED I try on fu heels if you get my drift. Here's the secret. They can't be slingbacks. They can't have small heels. They must be rather high..like 3 inches...experiment for your height. (I knooooooow) Try peep toes.

I told her she was crazy but dang it, she was right! It straightened my spine up and made me walk "right"? However it doesn't go with what I wear....so peep toes and jeans? LOL.

LISA EMRICH said...

Hey, I've been LIVING in my white New Balance shoes!! Never been a big pump wearer, always less than 2 inches and wide heels due to slightly crooked hips.

Here's a blogger who has MS and RA. She blogs shoes. Perhaps you could get some recommendations from her (Kirsten).

http://www.barkingdogshoes.com/

It's completely not silly that shoes are the things which has made the MS "real." Sorry about that, but it's good to focus on yourself and worry less about those around you.

Hang in there.

BRAINCHEESE said...

I have no shoe tips (pun intended), but I have made a style out of *frump* and I'd like to claim all credit for it (since grunge was already taken here in the Pac Northwest!). As a matter of fact, if it weren't for Biblical references and sheer terror of fat exposure, I wouldn't bother with clothes or shoes at all...as it is, comfort always wins over style. At least that's my excuse anyway. :-)

If you have a moment, Google Liam Sullivan (he does short videos) and watch the one called "Shoes"...it will definitely bring a smile to your face, but should NOT be watched with small children in the room. Unless, of course, you typically swear like a sailor around them!

Lazy Julie said...

I can so relate to this!!!!! I have decided that I will no longer where shoes that are too tight or hurt in the store because they will not get MORE comfortable. If I can't by the sexy, strappy, high shoes, I buy the funky, colorful and comfy ones and wear bright lipstick and chunky earings. MS will NOT rob my style! It will just alter it and require more creativity on my part.

Diane J Standiford said...

I can see how this could be an issue. Good news/bad news---when you can no longer walk then you can wear whatever shoes you want.

Lanette said...

Wedge Shoes. I can walk well in Wedge Healed Shoes. They make dressy ones and they are nothing like walking in heals.

Hey, I ignored my MS for 5 years after my initial diagnosis until a second and BIG flare-up last summer. Don't make the mistake I did and be in Denial for a long time. Take care of you! :)

Living Day to Day with Multiple Sclerosis said...

I personally have not really big into shoes. However, I have to agree with Lanette... You dont have to live in complete depression every day about having MS but you really should acknowledge that you have MS and also that there will be more changes like the shoe thing in the future that you will have to face.
Good Luck! And I will keep watching your posts.